I would really want to say everything I want to say in my head, but I just can't say it directly. I get all mixed up, confused, forgetful, tongue-tied and all just piles up and then I just totally mess up and just say everything wrong. I've always wanted to just write everything, but I always have a hard time starting it, like any other things I do in life. It's not that I'm shy or hesitant on saying what's on my mind; rather I have many things to tell and discuss that I don't know where to begin. I have had chances to talk with you face-to-face, one-on-one, but I just can't bring it up. I've thought of bringing notes with me on those times, but it just feels odd and lame for me to bring a note-card on a serious talk. You see, I think of myself as more of a writer, and not a speaker. Whenever I write things, I write them using my heart and my mind. Every detail from the word use and from the structure has meaning for me. It's probably why it's very hard for me to write because I want it to be carefully crafted to convey whatever I really feel.