I can't believe I'm saying this...

... but I feel that we bonded more than my current one and I actually miss that... actually, not just my current one, but of all my other ones. Too bad we ended up in different paths.

...

Did you just... what?!... but you said...

._.

-inner me facepalms-

Pet Peeve #5

People asking me if I am okay, when I am actually okay.

-Do I really look that miserable? I know that you ask because you care, but like anything, it will lose meaning the more it's said.

A little bit more...

and I probably will write things I shouldn't be writing. I know things could just get worse for me, but I can't take it anymore... or maybe I should bare with it for a little longer. I've dealt with it not so long ago, I survived. I'm sure I'll be fine... As long as I have someone to vent to, I could just live without blowing up...

By the way, you're stupid. you're really stupid... probably not stupid. that's such a harsh word. Probably naive. yeah... that's a good term for it.

I never thought your antics were cute. The others probably think so, but for me, it's annoying. Especially since I feel like it is fake.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DANI!!!

I hope you ain't sick of the birthday greetings from me ^^;

Pet Peeve #4

False modesty.

Mornings are Always a Struggle

I remember waking up in my room this one summer day. My first sight of the morning was my clock. It read 5:45ish. I then closed my eyes, hating that I was awake that early, then I thought about it.

I should like getting up early because I could do more things this way. I had my own room, was alone in it, and I could pretty much do anything I want without disturbing anybody or without being disturbed by my parents.

There's nothing I dislike more than them knocking on my door, trying to wake me up. For me, it marks the end of my alone time to be private, calm, and meditative. I think this is the reason why I don't like letting people know I am awake. The last thing I want to happen as the first thing that happens to me in the day is to have a disorganized, anxious, chaotic mind.

Story of my College Exams

Fun?

Prof asks my biochem lab class: "What is something fun you can do with KCl (potassium chloride)?"

Student replies: "Stop people's hearts."

Prof replies: "You and I have different definitions of fun. You should come to my lab and see what we really do for 'fun'."

The more time we have to try to get to know each other, the more distant apart we become...

Going off of my previous post...

Sad but true lol

Quote of the Day #15

"I may hate you more, but that does not mean I will love you less."- Rosie from War Horse

I would really want to say everything I want to say in my head, but I just can't say it directly. I get all mixed up, confused, forgetful, tongue-tied and all just piles up and then I just totally mess up and just say everything wrong. I've always wanted to just write everything, but I always have a hard time starting it, like any other things I do in life. It's not that I'm shy or hesitant on saying what's on my mind; rather I have many things to tell and discuss that I don't know where to begin. I have had chances to talk with you face-to-face, one-on-one, but I just can't bring it up. I've thought of bringing notes with me on those times, but it just feels odd and lame for me to bring a note-card on a serious talk. You see, I think of myself as more of a writer, and not a speaker. Whenever I write things, I write them using my heart and my mind. Every detail from the word use and from the structure has meaning for me. It's probably why it's very hard for me to write because I want it to be carefully crafted to convey whatever I really feel.

Is it bad...

... for me to want the world to end this year? I just don't want to deal with the future especially since I have no idea what I would do or what would become of me. In case the world does end, I do have some things I want to do before it all ends. I just hope I could do it. Would that be considered a bucket list then?

Pet Peeve #3

Cockblockers.

I need one

True that

I actually...

bought 4 donuts for $1 each instead of giving $4 donation to a monk trying to give me a book on karma... Oh boy I feel bad.

While I was walking and eating my donuts, some chick was trying to ask if I had a "moment to hear about starving children in Africa."

Oh karma don't smite me :<

Sucks

Starts off as a sweet, adorable, maternal old grandma...

Then show her true self as a monstrous, ugly, evil witch.

Pet Peeve #2

People who are full of themselves.

If only it were possible...(late All-Saints.Souls Day tribute)

Quote of the Day #14

"Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it." - Laurence Peter

Pet Peeve #1

People who are bandwagoners and people who just conform to things and go with the majority just to fit in.

RE: When a dream tries saying something to you...

I had this dream many days ago. This dream was stuck on me for like a day or two because I was thinking about its significance. There was a mix of fictional characters with real life people in this dream. There was even a random person who I don't really know that well and this person was included. I wrote about this dream now because there was something that happened recently that may tie in with this dream.
Notes
*Bold dialogue means that those were the exact dialogues that I fully remember in the dream.
* Normal font will be commentaries to explain things that weren't in the actual dream.

Well, the dream goes like this:

"Damn you, Michael! You will not get a way this time!" says a black guy in a trench coat wearing sunglasses. Behind him were a group of soldiers wearing black armor and black helmet. They were all pointing a gun at me. It seems that I was cornered by my pursuers, but all of a sudden, the wall opened up (like those hidden rolling wall doors at Scooby-Doo).

When I got to the other side of the wall, I saw 3 good of my friends, two guys and one girl. "What the heck are you guys doing here?" I asked. One of the guys, Garrett (I'll use pseudonyms to conceal their identity) yelled out "Go now, before they catch you! Jase (pseudonym) and I will hold them off. Mary (pseudonym) knows how to get around the labyrinth."

I was clueless to what is going on. While I was following Mary on the maze made with wall made of wood, I was thinking to myself. Why was those guys in black chasing after me? Why are my friends in here? What the heck are they all doing in my dream?! (yes, I could actually tell that I'm in a dream while I'm in a dream lol).

At the end of the maze, there was a down hill. Below was a black car driven by my friend Zach (pseudonym). He yelled "Get inside before they catch us."
After he said that, there was a huge explosion that came out of the exit. It came from a soldier who has an RPG. Immediately after seeing that, Mary and I ran inside the car and Zach drove recklessly.

Zach dropped both Mary and I at a motel room (yes, very random) and he said he has to go somewhere. Inside the motel room, Garrett and Jase were waiting. I asked them "Okay, what the heck is going on here?! You guys were just there and now you are here." Then again I immediately thought to myself, "well, is a dream, anything could happen." Garrett replied to me with a panicking tone, "we need to plan something out." I said, "Plan for what?" then a total blank....

I became conscious so i guess it got cut off, but when I got back to sleep, I got back in the dream (surprisingly it continued). I was now in my old elementary school. It looked just the way I last time saw it. Then, for some reason, I started running as if someone is chasing me. While i was turning in a corner, I saw a girl I knew at my high school. I recognized JQ (initials- I used it because it's so random, people reading it would not even know who it is, but I assure you, it is a real person) because of her smile but I was puzzled why she was there. Two things: one, I don't really talk to her at school so she was totally random; two, what is she doing in my elementary school, which was an all-guys school in the Philippines, miles and miles away.

After that random meeting, I ended up in my elementary's school clinic. Everything was so white, it was blinding me. To my surprise, Zach and Mary were there waiting for me. I asked them what is going on, but Zach ignored my question. He then said that he has to go somewhere again and he had to leave Mary and I there.

Well, after he left, Mary and I sat down on a bench. We watched injured people coming in the clinic. Mary leaned her head to my head. I felt hesitant at first because it was very unlikely for her to do that. Then she whispered to me in a sweet, soft voice,"I can't be with you. I hope you understand. Just move on without me." Tears came out through my eyes. The weird thing is, I did not feel remorse when she said that. (Another weird thing is, when I woke up, tears were running in my eyes. After that, I just laid down on my bed and recalling what happened in the dream.)

Why I hate fall and winter...

Quote of the Day #13

"I think, therefore I am." -Rene Descartes

There's always a reason...

...Why I feel what I feel. Everybody is entitled to feel their own feelings. The big question though is:

What did you do to make me feel this way?

Don't blame everything on other people, because you know that you contributed to whatever I'm feeling. Are you afraid that you actually are at fault? You afraid history will repeat itself, or are you intentionally doing this for history to repeat itself?

A rock doesn't move by itself, unless a force moves it.