Today...

was very unproductive. Just sat in front of the computer, waiting for something to happen. What a waste of a day. These are the times I wish I could have when I actually need time to do things. Oh well...

"You are not excused"

-courtesy of Nedroid.com

I really wonder why we need to be "excused" when we burp.

You can't...

You can't give me an answer because you don't know what makes me special in your life... How can you show to me that I actually am special?

Unposted posts

I was just going through all the blog posts I've not post. These posts are usually unfinished posts or just things I don't feel like revealing. but now I am unveiling them. The unfinished posts will remain unfinished... oh yeah, the date's that are posted in these blog posts are the actual dates I started writing them. Just find them :D

What are the benefits of not standing out?

- You don't get noticed when you do something wrong or right.

- You're not the first person to be thought of when someone needs help.

- You can do whatever you want and nobody would care.

- You live simply.

- Nobody bothers you.

- You're normal.

Most Dangerous Person...

...has a smiling face. You don't know if you're seeing a smile of happiness, or a smile of deceit. Enjoy your day :]

Happy Birthday

Why has the generic greeting to someone who has his/her birthday become "Happy Birthday"? Why can't it be "Merry Birthday" or "Jovial Birthday"? Actually, quite frankly, I don't like that phrase just 'cause grammatically speaking, the noun "Birthday" is the one that is "Happy", not necessarily the person celebrating it. Although it could be potentially saying that the person should have a day of happiness because it is his/her date of birth. That brings me to a point.

Does a person only have to have a day of happiness on his/her date of birth, or any holiday that has "Merry" or "Happy" in the greeting? Does a person have the right to be happy only on his/her birthday? Why can't any other random day be a day for a person to be encouraged to be happy?

Everyday...

is a struggle. Every week is tiring. Every month is fast . Every year is regretted. Every life is well lived.

It's sooo cute

Shouting Out To Someone

With no specific person to talk to, I'd like to say that I can't believe that you don't say things to me anymore. I thought we were close... :< Everytime I hear about the things you do, I feel so out of the loop for not knowing how you are and to think you are a close

Mantra Of The School Year

"Temporary pain, lasting results."

Hit me with your best shot life! I got a high pain tolerance so suck it!

I do not understand...

why most of my friends are sooooo down recently. It's life. You've been living it for more than 18-21 years already. For the love of things that are sane, whatever bad things are affecting you, keep in mind that at least half of it comes from yourself, if not everything.

Get a hold of yourself and take the driver's seat of your own car.

If life bitches at you, be a pimp and slap that bitch! You're the boss!

I know...

things so why don't you tell them to me?

Final Chapter?

I hate being alone, yet I'm always finding myself in this situation. People just

Lost Connection

You just turned cold... I got nothing to say to you. You got nothing to say to me. To be honest, I have foreseen this coming. I knew it was too good to be true. You're just as good as a

Good Job

Frickin good job... Yet again, you did not fail to take away something I did not badly need. Thanks for being such a considerate person, knowing that with perfect logic that I wouldn't need such things. You're right; it's my fault. I'm not in the right place to voice out my opinions. Thanks for returning the favor; I affirm you being here and having your rights, you give it back to me with your loud salutations and laughter. You are very thoughtful. You really shouldn't have.

So...

So I learned in my Psychology class that people need each other to better themselves. The threat of social isolation may lead to "unhealthy behavior and compromise IQ". Well, I guess that explains why I'm failing in this institution...

Piling Problems...

"Goodbye my almost lover
Goodbye my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be
So long my luckless romance
My back, has turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do..."

...Really? Why now? Why at this time?Why must you go at the time I need you the most? Am I just a toy that you'll outgrow and leave behind? Or was I just you're temporary inspiration?...

These thoughts run to his head as he listens to the lyrics of the song... the last song he would ever listen to...

Dead upon Arrival

Many thought that it was because of depression. Some actually thought it was to get away. Some thought he was crazy. Countless speculations had been made to why he committed such unthinkable act...

One loud shot was heard. People started rushing to where the loud boom came from. It was on a room down a narrow hall. Rushing footsteps swamped the unimaginable scene. Upon opening the door, a loud scream filled the room with an eerie mood. Blood was gushing on the wall coming from his gut. He was heavily gasping for air. The rushing people tried to aid him, but they all were petrified.

In enormous pain, he tried getting up from his bed, but all he can do was lie upwards on his bed, still gasping for air. He then looked at the frantic faces in front of him. He smiled then ended it with another loud boom.

Politics

Being benevolent rarely gets you anywhere. Popularity is the key for everything.

Dirge of the Fallen

It has been 4 years since the tragedy. Nobody still wants to talk about it...or have they already forgotten... or they never cared to begin with. This had become a place of mystery. This place had been a somber memory which that of a crazy myth.

Despite all the lamentations and tears, all hath proceed with their own. Time did not stop; time is as cruel as always. It's cruelty is deep-down to the bone. It's infliction rivals a fiery blaze.

Time has healed its wounds, but like crumpled paper, things won't be the same as before. Fueled by wrath and rage, he ended his life to rid one of the many useless people walking around. The seeds of fear and despair had been planted; thus it shall grow and thrive as the years pass.

Someone...Save me...Please...

I wanna leave this place. This is not good for my mental, emotional and physical health. I've lost the will to move forward, I'm depressed and I've lost a lot of weight. I FRIKIN' HATE THIS PLACE. Suicidal thoughts are entering my mind frequently. Someone...save me...Please...

The more I stay here, the more I feel alone and depressed; the more I feel alone.
The more I stay here, the more I feel intellectually inferior and slow. The more I stay here, the more my health deteriorates. This is the first time in a very long time that I just want to cry... but there's nobody to cry to, nobody that cares here, nobody... I've never felt so alone in my life... Someone...save me...Please...

I don't know how long I can mask it with the smiles on my face. The wound has been cut deep. Many are pretenders, many don't care... Someone... save me...Please...

formspring.me

Do you like clingy friends? I sure don't..

Why noooot? no matter how they are, if you call him/her a friend, you should like 'em the way they are

Ask me anything that comes up in your mind...literally

Happy New Year Y'all!

So a new year is starting again, so a another year to either change lives for the better, or mess up more. Well, I don't know what I exactly am going to do this year.

Blog Hiatus...

It has been a long time since I've touched this blog. I've been very busy with a lot of school crap that I had no time to write on this. Although I haven't been writing on it, I kept on thinking what to write here. I want to write things that not only would relieve me from boredom, but also things that would entertain my readers as well. I've gotten a few ideas, namely short stories or a continues story but its going to be in a series... I'm not sure yet. During this break, I'll think of these options. If I am able to write at least 5 stories/chapters, then I'll continue it for the rest of the year next year (and hopefully I keep up with it).

Well, I'll see how it goes. Latez y'all.

Depressed

Ugh... I despise not having my own computer. I feel like a part of me was severed from my body. I was not the only one who broke it. Yet Nexon destroys my computer and potentially destroy my life. I did not even play the MMO and yet it finds a way to ruin me...

My computer might have its problems because of age, but I cannot believe that the person who broke it did not take full responsibility. What a #@$!%!$#@%!!! "I'm partially responsible..." You have no idea what you have caused me. I have never encountered a BSoD on that laptop. You're telling me that it was my laptop's problems that destroyed my laptop... Well, let's use the analogy you tried to use against me but failed because it backfired...

Midterm Week

Damn it. Quarter is going by so fast. I feel that I haven't studied at all (which is actually somewhat true) so I feel unprepared for those midterms. I know I learned a lot of things, however, I don't know if I'll be able to pull those out during the test. I fail at taking tests. That's why I never liked the SATs. Too much pressure. I wish, hope and pray that I don't choke.

P.S.- I don't like ranting about school, but these days, I don't have much to talk about that I want to share.

First Kiss...

Never experienced it. I want to, but I'm afraid. I know after that, I won't know if I'll be able to stop myself...

To do list:: Full, Finished list: Zilch

Well, here we go again. First week of sophomore year is over, and what have I done?

-Start playing Disgaea
-Brawl almost 1/3 of my day
-sleep 1/3 of the day
-go to classes and dont do any reading...
-work in Plaza for 10 hrs/wk

At this rate, I'll be hitting the slumps.With all the crap that I try to get involved in this quarter? CK, AMSA, RPB, ASP, VA,maybe KP? I got lots of things to do. I am hoping for a miracle to pull this off. If everything goes well, then great; if not, then I'm going to be F'd liked I've never been F'd before.

Bored...

I know when people are not fond of my company or when people are bored of me. It shows. There's a saying, "actions speak louder than words." I am who I am, I cannot change who I am, but what I can do is to improve on it. I never like awkward silences during conversations or awkward actions when I do something. It really really really annoys me. How can I improve myself if the people around me don't even bother listening?

I know I have to keep an open mind on things, but I act like I'm a mirror. I reflect the actions, feelings and thoughts back to the person I am with. If you talk to me, I'll respond to you. If you want to get to know me, I'll try to get to know you. If you feel awkward around me, I'll feel the awkwardness and return it to you. Hell, if you don't talk to me, I won't talk to you. If you think like I'm not interesting, then why bother talk to you if you won't even make the effort to conquer that impression of me. I'm not that kind of person that wastes time on something that I know would have little or no results.

I already felt this way before. I have things to connect with,but each connection are just bits and pieces. There are no perfect fits. I would say that I have things that connect with people, but they are mixed. I would compare myself to a sampler appetizer. I have different tastes that appeals the tastebuds, but not enough to satisfy the hunger. Everybody talks about the main course, but hardly the appetizer.

I don't like being noticed, especially when the thing I am being noticed about is something that's not fully me, something that doesn't define my whole identity. I do not have a specific thing, like being the jock, or the clown or the cool guy, or even the annoying guy, that people immediately identifies me with. I am that kind of guy that can fit in with anybody, but not fully, trully fit in. It takes time to get to know each complex side of me, and people nowadays do not have that much time.

Yeah, I know for a fact that I am awkward and shy when people and I meet for the first time. I have a knack for opening up to those who actually takes the time and make the effort to talk to me. If you are reading this right now and just suddenly change your mind about me and actually start to make the effort to get to know me, I would most likely be not inclined to open up to you because it's not natural. I would feel that you are pitying me and you're just acting this way because of this post. Your actions towards me are going to be fake and unnatural and most likely awkward...and like I said a while ago, I am like a mirror and I would reflect that back to you.I will notice if your actions towards me changes, and if it does, I will say to myself "I should not have written that post...maybe I should just cut myself and bleed it out..." (just kidding ^^", I ain't emo and that's someone I would never turn to)...Point is- I wouldn't want you to change

I might be overthinking this situation, but it is hard for me to ignore the facts that are right in front of me. I had this fear before already, but I cannot believe I am actually living it. I'm not writing this so I can get pity, recognition, fame or attention. One reason is to share my mind to those who are actually interested in reading other people's thoughts. I cannot fully express what I think so things come out of me really stupidly and awkwardly face to face. Through writing, I can pause and gather my thoughts and actually express what I want to say. It is one of my huge flaws as a person that I am trying to improve on. Reacting negatively or passively to it won't help me at all. Maybe my voice is not easily heard, or my presence is not easily felt, so I apologize for that. I try to just be chill bout things, but I wouldn't think that it would be to the extreme.

If you feel that I am talking about you, whoever is reading this post right now *points at reader from the screen*, then you're probably the one that is making me rant right now lol... Well I forgot what I was thinking of saying now...sooo I might continue this rant soon...depends